I walked out of Princess Margaret Hospital today, my last radiation treatment finally behind me. It has been a long nine months. Tests. Diagnosis. Six chemos. More tests. Surgery. 30 radiation sessions. Nine months and now I'm done, I can't believe it. Nine months later and this whole experience still doesn't seem quite real. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel as I left the hospital - if I would be crying or smiling. The truth is I was skipping, with a great big grin on my face. I am euphoric and exhausted at the same time. I feel stronger and yet humbled, a little wounded, but determined to heal physically and emotionally.
The horror of the experience is already fading; the fear of chemo, losing my hair, surgery, but there is one thing I will never forget - the kindness I have experienced. My friends and family rallied behind me offering unwavering support. They brought me food, slept at my house to help me take care of my girls, comforted me when I was feeling overwhelmed. My colleagues here at City TV have been incredible as well; always quick to offer hugs, smiles and laughter, and yes, kleenex too. I have been so lucky. The kindness of strangers has been especially moving. Thank you so much to all of you who sent me emails, passed me on the street and said hello or just simply smiled. It has given me strength. I must also mention the other patients I have met along the way who have shown such courage. To all the doctors, nurses and staff at Princess Margaret and Mount Sinai - thank you. I have never felt like a number or just another patient. You are all amazing, I know I was in good hands.
Of course I have to mention my two girls, my incredible little girls. We have been counting down the days until I would be finished and now we get to celebrate together. When I was diagnosed I was determined to show them that challenges can be overcome with grace and a smile. I hope I have accomplished that for them.
Cancer does not define me but it has made me grow as a person. I know I need time to put everything into perspective but I want to take this experience and start my life again; wiser, stronger, powerful. I just want to enjoy the simple, exquisite beauty of living.
These are my favourite words: Warrior. Survivor. Grace. Hope.
Cynthia