I want my brain back!!  I have talked about being in a "chemo fog" before but now that I am done my sixth and final treatment I've had just about enough of that fog thank you very much!  I feel like my IQ is still half of what it was before.  I struggle to stay focused and fight to find words that used to come easily to me.  Dang it's annoying!  I'm honestly not sure how many people around me notice, I really am trying to hide it as much as I can.  I do get to milk it though, when I say something that's not quite right both of my daughters will pipe up and loudly exclaim, "Mommy, you have chemo brain!"   Thank God for laughter. 

I still don't have any energy after my final chemo which was almost two weeks ago; I am so impatient to get my sparkle back.  I am hoping to feel better before my surgery which I expect will be within two to four weeks.  I am having an MRI this Saturday and then I will meet my surgeon, hopefully next week, to find out how much the tumour shrank from the chemo, if it is still trying to attach itself to my pectoral muscle and whether I will need a full or partial mastectomy.  I'm really hoping for a partial one but bracing for the other option.  I’ll admit I'm nervous, scared, and wish this would all just go away.  Deep breath. 

This is a good time to give a special thank you to all of my colleagues here at Citytv.  Each and every one of them has offered me smiles, hugs and a ton of encouragement and support.  Every one of them deserves special mention, but today I want to tell you about one in particular.  Pete.  He's been my cameraman and great friend for many, many years.  We have covered countless stories together, laughed at the absurd ones and cried at the ones that broke our hearts.  I worked with Pete the morning my doctor's office called and told me there was "something suspicious" on my mammogram.  He was the first person I told that something might be wrong.  He has been the one behind the camera for each of the stories I have covered on my battle.  He keeps me focused and makes me laugh at myself.  But there's more, here's what makes Pete so amazing -  the day my hair started falling out from the chemo he pulled me into an edit bay and showed me his way of supporting me.  He put on a wig.

You see Pete shaves his head and has been bald for as long as I can remember.  He told me that he would wear that ridiculous wig every time we work together for as long as I need to wear a wig.   And he has kept his word.  What a wonderful gesture, I laugh out loud every time I see him.  How can I not be ok with friends like that??

Cynthia