Maybe it's over money. Maybe it's over sex. Maybe it's over the kids. Whatever you and your significant other are fighting about these days, keep it up. It turns out it's good for you. At least if you believe new research from the
University of Michigan School of Public Health's psychology department.
They studied 192 couples for the past 17 years to see what effect their day-to-day relationship had on their overall health. They discovered there were four categories most seemed to fall into. One was a scenario where both partners expressed their anger when they felt the other was being unfair. Another saw the exact opposite, with neither telling the other they were mad. And there were two additional types - one where only the wife suppressed her fury and the other where the husband did.
The results: after almost two decades of marriage, those who kept their anger in were twice as likely to die earlier than those who let their tempers explode. Couples who both suppressed their anger saw 13 deaths in the 26 pairs, while the emoters experienced 41 deaths in 166 couples.
"I would say that if you don't express your feelings to your partner and tell them what the problem is when you're unfairly attacked, then you're in trouble," reveals lead author Ernest Harburg.
But the scientist warns it's not just anger that's at the root of his deadly findings. The real flame starter is resentment, which when left unexpressed, leads to feelings of rage. His advice? Fight it out. It may be the key to a longer life in the long run.
"It's healthy to recognize that you're being attacked unfairly and it's even more healthy to speak up and to talk about it and try to resolve the problem if you want to live longer," Harburg concludes.
Although in some cases, with all that arguing, it may just seem longer.