He did it because he feared he might molest more family members.
That senseless explanation is the apparent motive for the mass murder that left five young girls dead and six others wounded in a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania Monday.
State Police are being tight lipped about everything they've learned regarding Charles Roberts. But they indicate his suicide notes contain some cryptic clues about the reasons for his rampage.
He admits having molested some of his relatives 20 years ago, and warns he'd 'been dreaming' of doing it again.
Despite the written words, they do little to explain why he chose the solution he did and cops can't even find evidence that the crime he refers to actually happened at all. And neither can Roberts' family.
"They had no knowledge of any molestation by Roberts affecting any family member or anyone else," police spokesman Colonel Jeffrey Miller relates. "This was a complete surprise to them."
Cops have found two minor family members - then between 3 and 5 years of age - that might have been involved, but it's all Roberts' word against everyone else's.
"It's unknown what type of molestation, whether it was fondling or inappropriate touching or sexual assault or if anything occurred," Miller adds. "We don't know.
"We tried to confirm whether there was ever a report made of such a crime, and we were not able to confirm that a report was ever made, and we have not been able to confirm that something actually occurred, but we know that he is making reference to this."
A heavily armed Roberts entered the little school on Monday morning, ordered all the males outside and after a short standoff, proceeded to go up to his captives and shot them execution style.
In the end, only six survived and the gunman, a 32-year-old milk truck driver, took his own life as police moved in.
The revelation has done little to remove the agonizing questions his actions have left behind.
In one of the notes he wrote to his life, he refers to his daughter Elise, a premature baby who died less than 30 minutes after being born. He claims his anger over her death has grown for the last few decades, until the simmering rage exploded on Monday.
"T
he tragedy with Elise ... changed my life forever," Roberts wrote. "I haven't been the same since.
"I am filled with so much hate - hate towards myself, hate towards God, and unimaginable emptiness.
"It seems like every time we do something fun, I think about how Elise wasn't here to share it with us and go right back to anger."
The remaining victims continue their struggle for survival. A 6-year-old girl remained in critical condition and a 13-year-old girl was in serious condition at the Penn State facility Tuesday Three girls, ages 8, 10 and 12, were flown to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, where they remained in critical condition.
None of their names were being released.
Those who knew the otherwise quiet gunman are still in shock by what he's done.
"He seemed so mild-mannered," remembers a neighbour. "He just didn't seem to be a person who would do something like this."
The normally reserved residents of Lancaster County, Pa., are displaying their stoic faith in the face of such horror. But it's clear the healing will be long and difficult.
The brutal events shocked the mainly Amish community, located west of Philadelphia, and represented the third U.S. school shooting in a week.
In an incident last Wednesday in Bailey, Colorado, a man took six female high school students hostage, molested them and then killed one before taking his own life. Two days later a 15-year-old killed his school's principal in Wisconsin.
Last month, gunman Kimveer Gill made headlines around the world when he walked into Montreal's Dawson College and opened fire, killing one woman and wounding 20 others before turning the gun on himself.
To see unedited video of Miller,
click here.
Here's the text of part of the suicide note Roberts left for his wife.
"I don't know how you put up with me all these years. I am not worthy of you. You are the perfect wife. You deserve so much better.
"We had so many good memories together as well as the tragedy with Elise. It changed my life forever.
"I haven't been the same since.
It affected me in a way I never felt possible.
"I am filled with so much hate - hate towards myself, hate towards God, and unimaginable emptiness.
"It seems like every time we do something fun, I think about how Elise wasn't here to share it with us and go right back to anger."
Police also found a list in the gunman's truck with some items checked off. They were apparently to remind him of what he needed to carry out his deadly mission.
Here's the list, although authorities say he didn't have all of the items with him.
Tape
Eyebolts
Tools
Nails
Wrenches
Hose
KY (jelly)
Bullets
Guns
Binoculars
Earplugs
Batteries
Flashlight
Candles
Wood
Amish School Siege Timeline
3am: The gunman, Charles Roberts, arrives home from work after finishing his milk run, picking up milk from Amish farms.
7:30am: Roberts and his wife, Marie, begin getting their children ready for school.
8:45am: Roberts walks his children to the school bus stop.
9am: Marie Roberts leaves for a prayer group; Charles Roberts was to leave the house for a random drug test, a requirement for his job, but did not do so.
Around 10am: Charles Roberts enters the West Nickel Mines Amish School.
10:30am Marie Roberts leaves church with a friend, and drops off the friend before returning home.
Around 10:30am: The Amish teacher and another adult at the school run to a nearby farmhouse, and someone calls 911 to report a hostage situation.
10:45am-10:50am: Marie Roberts tries to call her husband from the couple's home phone; Charles Roberts had taken her cell phone with him. The first police units arrive.
10:50am: Roberts talks to his wife but will not disclose where he is, and tells her, "I am not coming home. The police are here." He then tells her he molested two young family members 20 years earlier and tells her where to find suicide notes he has left in the house.
Just after 11am: Charles Roberts tells a dispatcher he will open fire on the children if police don't back away from the building. Within seconds, troopers hear gunfire inside.
Source: Pennsylvania State Police Commissioner Jeffrey B. Miller.